


Modern Times.

by the-canary (siruru)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1930s, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Bittersweet Ending, Boxer Bucky Barnes, Crush at First Sight, Dancing, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Los Angeles, Mutual Pining, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Puppy Love, Time Skips, Tourism, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-10-19 13:05:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17601911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/the-canary
Summary: 1938. Working for the summer in booming Los Angeles, Bucky Barnes has his eyes on a certain dame.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> repost: i decided to bring this back with slow updates.
> 
> I went to the Natural History Museum awhile ago and fell in love with the early history of Los Angeles and the more I talked about it, the more fleshed out this idea became. We’ll see where it goes and please let me know if you want to see notes on all the places I’ll be mentioning. Enjoy!

**June 1938.**

If one looks close enough, Los Angeles is an ode to the forgotten. In the name of progress, the city reinvents itself every couple of decades, people come seeking glamour and get lost in the limelight or the shadows that sneak around it. Much of the buildings and tales that came with an earlier time are left behind and abandoned or in the process of entering that cycle. People are always coming and going, and thus entering said picture is one James Buchanan Barnes.

Now you might be asking, how does a born and bred Brooklyn boy end up getting on a train to sunny California in mid-1938. Well, it’s all a matter of coincidence really because someone remembers (and tells the local Main Street Gym) how much of a good fighter he used to be and while he doesn’t do it as often anymore, a good hustle of matches and a part-time dock job is better than what he could find in Brooklyn. He promises his mother, younger sisters, and Steve that it will only be for the summer – although the promise of living it up in Los Angeles excites him like it would any other outsider.

However, there are people born under the system that know how to make themselves scarce and get by with whatever they can get their hands on and then there are others that dream too big because of the city that they live in. Thus, enter a young Miss that might know a bit too much about that corruption and idealism because of her waitress job back in Clifton’s Cafeteria, as she struggles with her own dreams and feeding a pack of eight. She knows where she wants to be ( _New York, New York_ , she’ll tell you) but can’t find her goddamn way out of Bunker Hill.

But, one foggy June morning by happenstance (or maybe good timing because James had been eyeing a certain pretty dame that ran passed him almost every morning now), between 3rd and Flower St., these two people crash into each other.

“’m truly sorry, doll. Let me–”  _hook, line, and_  before a certain James Buchanan Barnes can say another word, invite the pretty lady for a date to make up for all the trouble. She has gotten up on her own with a small, rushed murmuring of  _sorry_  and has run passed him once more.

“That grease-ball is going ‘ta fire me if I’m late again,” is all he can hear her mumbling as he’s left laying on the sidewalk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the backdrop of this is Clifton’s -a popular and versatile place to eat back in the 1930′s and even today! Though there are going to be notable changes to the staff and who owns it.

**May 1938.**

Now before going into the failed attempts when it came to a certain romance, it might be better to rewind and take a look at the current living situation of one Bucky Barnes. He had arrived to Los Angeles via the railway back in mid-May and met with the owners of The Main Street Gym who had explained his whole situation. They liked how he fought, wanted to see him train for the summer to see if they could work something with him in the long term. Logan had promised him a part time job in the docks of the Port of Los Angeles from Monday to Thursday, while Friday through Sunday were for training and fight nights.

At .65 cents an hour, it sounded too good to be true for James and looking at how shady Logan looked it probably could be, but his Ma and younger sisters needed the money. And if working at the docks was the same as it was back home, it would be easy picking.

Except working out in the middle of nowhere and completely empty San Pedro is nothing like working in the hustle of the Port of New York. There is nothing to do as far as the eye can see and it annoys him how dead everything is because 2 weeks in he’s already missing home – missing forcing Steve into the dance halls and dancing the night away on a  _weekday_. And while there were some better halls in Long Beach where he went once or twice with some of the other dock boys, but it really wasn’t the same.

_“So, where are you from, fella?” a short, blonde-haired girl asks him once. Smoky eyes and a dimpled smile. James grins and places his drink back on the table, some of the other guys are already cheering him on in the back as he let’s his Brooklyn accent roll out naturally._

_“New York, darling,” he smiles as her face perks up._

_“And what are ya doing here?” she quirks her lips and gets a bit closer to him._

_“Maybe looking ‘fo ya,” he takes a sip of his drink and she follows him to the dance floor._

Fridays through Sundays are easier but not by much since Logan and Mr. Coulson have him on a strict morning to evening regiment, though Bucky Barnes was never one to completely follow the rules. and thus when he is supposed to be running, he ends up walking most of downtown Los Angeles. Enter, eating at a place named Clifton’s on a bright Saturday morning.

While it should have had that old dinner/cafeteria feel, it was more on the eccentric side with 20-foot waterfall cascading into the dining room and some faux redwood trees. There was a life size forest on the left wall and a small chapel not to far behind him. He quirks an eyebrow with a light smile on his face as he takes a seat near the door. A dark-haired woman a bit older than him greets him and is about to ask him what he is going to get when–

“Sorry Maria, I’ll be there in a hot minute!” a voice behind them yells, but all James can see is a flash of brown that runs into the corridor filled with pin-up tress and small woodland creatures eerily perched on their branches. The woman –Maria– shakes her head.

“I wonder what line she’ll tell Clinton this time,” she murmurs good-naturedly before looking back at James, completely in business mode now.

“So what’’ll ya have?” she asks, though it takes him a moment to get back dragged into reality, not quite sure what to make of this strange place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The owner’s of Clifton’s always made a point to never turn anyone away, even if they had no money.

“So you’re telling me ya grandma got stuck in the bathtub and you were the only one that could help ‘ha?” Clint asks in his most unbelieving voice after he had gotten you to stop sniffling in front of him. He nodded, as you messed with the white apron in your hands. Clint Barton was no fool and if he had heard that story from anybody else he would have fired them on the spot, no matter how kind he was, the thing was here that he had known you since you were a child, had even served in the same Army troop force as your old man, so he knew you couldn’t be lying.

“You went all the way to Elysium Park and back here?” he questioned you, as you nodded and all he could do was shake his head.

“Isn’t that why ya moved to Bunker in the first place? You can’t keep going back for every little thing, kiddo,” he sighed, as you looked at the floor. It might have been blasphemous to talk in front of certain people that way, but Clint wanted the best for you, had even helped you moved to the women’s dormitory on 3rd after your 19th birthday. He wanted to see you grow, but you were also the oldest and your mother still depended on you and the cash you gave her.

After your father had passed away from his war-induced injures, your mother was left to raise 4 children along with your two grandparents, while working part-time as a seamstress. It had been you, Gladys, Eugene, and Willie trying to help in whatever you could until your slightly younger sister decided to elope with the butcher’s son, taking whatever allowance that the whole family had been saving up with her to San Francisco. You struggled and managed to move out, get a job, but it still wasn’t enough – not when you were still stuck here and barely able to play for your dancing lessons and now about to get fired.

“I know, I know but grandma is sick again, the boys are at school, and ma can’t do anything,” you struggled a little to keep talking, “what am I  _supposed_  to do?”

“We’ll figure it out, talk to ya ma,” he smiles and you just nod before he grows a little bit more serious, “But, I have to dock ya pay for the hour you missed.”

“I understand,” you sigh and give him a tight smile, as he tells you to get dressed and start your shift. You put on your white apron and change into your softer set of work shoes before heading into the kitchen where Scott gives you a slight wave before going back to cooking.

Maria came in as you were about to go out, ready to end her shift that should have ended 30 minutes ago. She taps your shoulder and you just give her a weary smile and apologize.

“It’s all right, sweetheart. Just watch out for Table 8,” she laughs as you quirk an eyebrow, but she says nothing more to elaborate on the situation. You grab some dishes and head to their respected tables, too drained and focused on work to notice a pair of baby blues watching you move.

“Pay what you can and please come again!” you smile and place his receipt on the table. He looks at you and you give him your best waitress smile. He is about to say something, but it’s all white noise in his throat as a larger, bulkier man comes into the restaurant and drags him away – though James Barnes does make a feeble attempt to wink at you as the double doors close behind him.

“What a strange fellow,” is all you can murmur before going back to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**Early June 1938.**

It’s another two weeks of making up work for Clint in the cafeteria and taking up extra shifts in the morning so you can make both rent and help out your mother. It’s talking to your ma and promising you’ll always be there to help with whatever you can (but that you need to stop helping so much because it’s affecting your work), promising to take Eugene and Willie to the park, to the Central Library, or even to a talkie so that she can have a few more hours for her work cause you all need the extra cash.

You try to make it enough, but you swear it never is, as you slowly start forgetting to attend your dance lessons or are too exhausted to go after work. You try not to cry in the middle of the hallway in front of your door one Saturday night after coming from another shift at Clifton’s. You want to live up to so many expectations, but never have time for yourself and it hurts because you have been doing this since you were a child –  **since Pa had decided to take his little dancer for real lessons**. It’s the only thing you have of him, and you try your hardest not to sob (though the doorknob shakes), least someone hear your hysterics.

“Hey,” you pause for a moment and turn to look at your neighbor, “haven’t seen ya in awhile, sweet pea?”

“I’ve been  _shot_  all week, Dar,” you give the dark-haired woman a tired smile, as she frowns. Darcy was a beautiful woman that had taken a shine to you the moment that you had become her neighbor. She worked as a singer with a jazz band that had found her back in New York before moving to the West Coast. Her smoky voice could hypnotize any man from the few times you had seen her perform. However, the sensual act hid a kind and easygoing woman that still hadn’t gotten used to the American cultural thrown at her since immigrating as a child.

“I know what’ll cheer ya right up!” she smiles because Darcy has known you long enough to know the answer is dancing, it will always be dancing. However, you shake your head, your feet clearly too tired from waiting on others this evening – except she won’t take no for an answer this time around.

“Nuh uh, sweet pea! You turned me down last time but not this time ‘round,” she grabs you by your shoulders and drags you to her room. You groan and she laughs.

“Gonna yet ya all dolled up and find ya a pip fella tonight!”

For one Bucky Barnes, the past two weeks have been a constant daze of work and training, but there are moments where he has time during the weekends to try and find a certain waitress back at that strange cafe. All he got was Maria’s sardonic smile when she stated that the young waitress –even refused to give him her name– didn’t work on weekends. However, he got something better the following day.

_Him and some of the boxing trainees where running up Bunker Hill as part of their training regiment with Bucky was near the back, as he was trying to figure out why he was so hung up over one waitress, but he seem to answer his own question when thinking back to her smile. It just piqued his interest too much. That’s when he hears it._

_“Don’t be late to work again!”_

_“Drop dead, ya wet sock!”_

_Bucky lets out a light laugh to himself at the feminine voice answering back at one of the bigger guys of the groups – Los Angeles girls could be feisty if they wanted to be. However, in that moment, he sees a familiar brown waitress outfit run past him and he almost trips on his next step – it’s his waitress._

And for the past two weekends he has done everything he could during the run to grab her attention without any positive results. He really couldn’t charm her if she never stopped to give him the time of day, thus he tries his best to move one this Saturday evening. He’s dressed in his finest suit tonight with some of the other trainees taking him to a new downtown club not that far away from the gym –  _The Salt Box_. He spends half of the night dancing with any girl (even sees Jeannie, the blonde from long-shore men club) and it almost feels like New York (almost but not close) – all smiles, flirting and sweet music running through his veins though it just isn’t the same without Stevie.

God, he misses that punk at the worst times.

It’s a quarter to nine when they bring in a new club act, a 5-piece jazz band and a pretty dark-haired singer wearing a long and flowing red evening gown dress. The light dims as her voice welcomes a slower dance. The edges of the tables seems to hide all the people that are simply chatting and drinking the night away, but James wants to keep dancing. So, he grabs his current dance partner by the waist.

“Another dance, doll?” he flashes that killer smile and all she can do is nod. Bucky Barnes gets them (almost) every time. He twirls her around the dancing floor and by some miracle something outside of this bubble catches his eye - a bracelet, a watch, he doesn’t know what but in that moment he sees what it is connected to.

A lone dame tucked away in one of the darker corners wearing a light reddish and black lace dress with red lipstick and black heels to match. She’s looking at the stage and mouthing the words to the song with a shy smile, a glass of water in her hand. He wants to transcribe the scene to memory because as he stops dancing for a moment he realizes one thing.

_It’s his waitress._


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Main songs for this chapter: Jeepers Creepers (how to dance it) ; Roll'em Pete

“Ya know, I bet you could show up all them gals with your moves, sweets,” a voice says to your left and all you can do is sigh, as Darcy finishes up her number. You turn to look at a man –a little bit older than you– with blond hair and green eyes wearing a simple grey suit. He smiles and you push his elbow slightly.

“I ain’t here for that tonight, Mickey,” you grumble and he laughs. Mickey was Darcy’s manager and side lover when she left like it. He liked to dance with you from time to time, but only saw you as nothing more as a friend, maybe even a sister and he knew when you needed a pick-me-up.

“Not taking no as answer. Either we have a gasser ‘ight or deal with a burn up Dar,” he makes a notion to show you Darcy watching from the behind the makeshift stage. You sigh again as he pulls his hand out. He gives you a prince charming sort of smile and you almost feel like Snow White.

“Ready, jitterbug?” he declares just as  _Jeepers Creepers_  begins to play. There is a light in your eyes that he hasn’t seen in awhile that gets him smiling ruefully and he knows he’s in for a great first dance tonight.

“Gonna make ya eat your words,” you grin and Mickey feels like he signed his own death certificate.

James Barnes is a second too late to her table, as he sees a blond man sitting next to her. She seems exasperated as the other man smiles, but she doesn’t seem bothered by it – almost like she’s dealing with a sibling. She shakes her head and gets up as the next number starts, the man grabbing her hand as they rush to the dance floor. Bucky grabs the nearest gal and hits the floor as well. Blue eyes are watching the little red number and just how  _fast_  she is in actually moving her body. He twirls his partner around, almost matching their speed, and tries to get a bit closer.

“'ome on, Mickey! Still all wet,” she giggles as the blond man huffs, clearly not used to her dancing. Her eyes glance up and meet his and Bucky gives her his charming smile, her eyes flutter for a moment as it seems his own moves clearly seems to be catching her interest.

_Jeepers Creepers, where’d ya get those peepers?  
Jeepers Creepers, where’d ya get those eyes?_

She twirls and jumps at the end of the song with some people clearly clapping at her performance. She laughs and the blonde moves to the side, declaring  _no more, sweets_. His own partner is clearly forgotten and before anybody else can snatch her up again, Bucky Barnes is standing in front of her. He grins, she waits.

“What a 'ya looking for, Joe?” she questions him in mock seriouness but her body is already moving into his. Her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist as Ella Fitzgerald starts echoing sweetly throughout the hall.

“A gal who can keep up,” he answers and she laughs lightly at his answer, while shaking her hips to the uptick of the music.

“Well, let’s see if I can,” she grins and James swears that his heart doesn’t skip a beat right then and there. And through the next couple of songs, it’s a game – who can come up with the craziest dance moves to impress the other, how can they get the adrenaline rushing any higher through the laughs and giggles they are sharing between each other.

“A boxer, huh?” she breathes out during one of the slower songs, after James explains what he is doing in Los Angeles. He quirks an eyebrow as the way she says it before spinning her.

“ 'omething wrong?” he questions as he brings her back to him. She shakes her head with a mischievous look in her eye.

“Didn’t think pretty boys could be boxing,” she laughs.

“Like my looks then?” the hand on her hip tighten just a bit as she gives him a loop-sided smile.

“Maybe,” is all the answer she decides to give him as the last song of the night begins to roll out. The trainees are yelling at him that they have to go, Mickey is watching from the sidelines and shaking his head while Darcy is grinning beside him.

“And yourself?” he asks as he dips her. The whole dance floor is practically theirs now and while the song is more on the jazzy side, they just seem to be swaying at this point.

“Just some gal who’s friend wouldn’t leave 'ha alone tonight,” she answers vaguely before Darcy comes to pull her away, murmuring something about curfew, and like that the spell is broken as her eyes widen and she seems to forget all about him – getting ready to disappear to wherever she needs to be with her dark-haired friend. Someone is yelling out  _James, Bucky_  and is pulling him away from her.

She smiles and waves before leaving through another exit. James Barnes could have sworn it was the best night of his life, if only he had gotten her name.

_All I want’s a little loving, just before you pass away  
Pretty baby, I’m goin’ away and leave you by yourself_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya know that gif of him from picnic (as hal carter), yeah just imagine that during the 2nd half. you know the one i am talking about.

It’s the Wednesday after you had gone out with Darcy when your mother and you have the rare time too see each other and spend sometime together since the June bride crazy is coming to an end and you have a rare day off from the cafe. Your grandparents are talking their daily walk and your younger brothers are at school. She gives you a weary smile as she hands you a couple of tea and the kitchen smells like the sweet bread your grandmother enjoys baking every now and then. She sits across from you and for a moment you take in the tired features of your mother who doesn’t quite look her age anymore – the recent events seem to have tired her out even more than your father’s death had.

“How ya been, jitterbug?” she asks lightly with a mother’s concern because outside of goodbyes and hellos, you never really saw each other. You laugh at the usage of jitterbug, it had somehow because your nickname over the years since you could never stay in place for too long – always running or dancing. Mickey used it more when he was trying to get a rise out of you, but you Ma only ever used it out of love.

“’ ‘Doing fine, working and working,” you mumble and maybe in that moment she can see how tired you are too.

“Mrs. Reis says you stopped 'oing to your classes,” she puts in her two cents and you let out a small  _Oh_. This was going to lead to a bad talk or a good conversation.

“I get tired from work, ma,” you take a sip of your cup and she frowns because she knows how much it means to you, and maybe it has some sentimental value to her as well. While, Gladys had been her favorite, she poured everything she could to see you happy from going to see your performances, to making costumes, to telling your father’s grave about it whenever she could.

Maybe, that’s why she pulls out a small wad of cash and place it in the center of the table, you look at her with wide eyes, and she smiles that smile that makes her look 10 years younger.

“Ma, when did you get such deep pockets?” you breathe out in disbelief. She stands up straight as she calls you by your full name, you mick her stance.

“This was for Gladys’  _secretary lessons_ ,” she explains as voice wavers a little, “but she won’t be needing it no more. So, you’re gonna take some and keep taking those damn lessons, got it?”

You stare in disbelief and are once again reminded that your mother is a trickster when she needs to be; she’s a fool but can play one like the best of them. Maybe, it was in her blood or maybe it was just her personality, but the woman could be unconventional and hidden when she wanted to be – it was how she won a certain man’s heart to begin with. She stares directly into your eyes and you don’t look away.

“One condition,” she states and you nod, “ **no boys**. Ya only focus on work and dancing.”

“ _No boys_ ,” you confirm, trying not to think back to bright blue eyes for a split second.

However, fate has something against you in the form of James Barnes, though you don’t know it just yet, because after that night he knows he has to see a certain someone again, dance with them again. It starts off with going back to the Salt Box the following night to see if she’ll come again. Her dark-haired friend is singing again, but she is nowhere to be found and when he finally thinks of asking the singer named Darcy, she has already left as well. He pushes all his energy into working and preparing for his first official fight this upcoming weekend.

He tries to push everything out of his head, even though he tells Steve through his weekly correspondence but god help that poor soul that plays  _Jeepers Creepers_  on that following Tuesday night that causes him to leave the long-shore man bar early. He still goes to Clifton’s on Thursday evening, he’s a regular now though Maria still won’t tell him anything and when he thinks he can get his chance to meet her again during the training run, she doesn’t show up.

_Bucky Barnes is officially hung up on girl. Well, I’ll be…Los Angeles changed you quickly, punk._

It’s all Steve sends him back and he can swear he can hear the jerk laughing from all the way back in Brooklyn. It’s Friday afternoon and he’s putting some prep time near the gym for his fight tomorrow evening. He’s taking a break in one of the small alleys when he hears it – a couple of girlish giggles a few door down. He pushes his sweat matted hair from his face to turn and see that some of the girls from the dancing classes next door are looking his direction, flushed cheeks and tepid smiles.

He grins and gets up to approach them, deciding in that second to forget the little red number from the dance hall, to move on from his waitress. The ladies are watching him and James is ready to perform.

“ _Ladies_ ,” he starts as they jumbled together. His white shirt is sweaty from all the training he had doing this morning with a white towel hanging around his neck. His brown hair is a bit crazier than usual as he pushes his hand through it to tame it and smiles ruefully at them. He’s about to keep talking, but then the door opens and they all stare at the figure.

“You girls, Mrs. Reis will be mad again,” her voice drops at the scene before her, as James stares dumbstruck. The group of girls nod and push past her, as she shakes her head in disbelief.

“Heya, boxer boy,” she smiles lightly as he walks up to stand in front of her. She moves back a little, but before she can go anywhere his bandaged hand is on top of her. His smile turns softer and he’s pretty sure one of them has the devil’s luck in this moment.

“ _Red_ ,” is the only real thing that he can call her because of the little red dress she wore, and somehow it fits her. She doesn’t seemed as surprised as she should be, but there’s a smile on her face the whole time.

“Finally found ya,” Bucky murmurs and its her turn to look dumbstruck at the comment, though he probably won’t tell her all that he’s been through anytime soon, for his own sanity,

“I gotta go to class,” she protests, as a strong female voice can be heard in one of the back rooms, yelling at her group to stay in line. James wants to slip out a line to charm her, because of course she would be a dancer. However, there is something more important that he needs to get.

“Can I have–” he starts, and she catches on quickly to what he wants and raises one eyebrow before stopping him.

“What’s the fun in that…” she turns away and starts walking back inside with teasing quip on her face, but before she can call him anything else, Bucky beats her to the punch.

“James Buchanan Barnes!”

You shake your head and yell out your name back. There’s a skip to his step when Logan calls him back in.


	7. Chapter 7

_“So the boy you was making puppy eyes with at the Box,” Darcy laughs at your indigent cry, “is boxing at the place nea’ ya dance classs.”_

_“Yes..” you murmur as you take another piece of those expensive chocolates she always seems to have ready for your girl nights._

_“But, ya momma said no boys,” she laughs in a teasing manner because in all the time she had know you, she had never seen you so interested in a young man before as you were now. It was usually dancing or your family, but she had seen the way you looked at each other that it – it wasn’t much, but she knew it could turn into something._

_“It ain’t a problem if it’s just for the summer, he’ll be gone'by then,” her bright red lips give you a soft smile,“Go out with some people, and have a sweet summer fling.”_

_“Darce…” your eyes widen, and the singer wants to laugh at how such a goody-two shoes you could be at times. She places a hand over your and sighs._

_“Ain’t no fling ever hurt nobody,” she murmurs softly, as you nod though you feel like she is speaking from a different sort of experience you’ll probably never know of._

It is late Saturday morning when you arrive to the dancing classes. You had the day off from Clifton’s and your grandmother was taking care of your younger brothers while your mother worked downstairs. It was an off day for you, which seemed like few and far between for you nowadays. The girls for the noon classes nodded in your direction before balling up together and taking about the latest trends and whatever else, usually the boys from the gym that greeted them on occasion.

“Miss, are you going to the boxing match tonight?” Annie, one of the younger students, ask you as the group of girls were watching from a little ways away. Since you were one of Reis’ oldest students, they often looked at you liked a teacher as well. They also liked using you as a shield or mother hen to watch over them of things got to dangerous – these were young girls from some well-known families and you did know how to pack a punch.

“I don’t know,” a collective sigh is heard from the back, “but if ya’ll wanna to, just do your lessons well today.”

The girls squeal and drag you into their little circle and proceed to explain how it fighting and they have their money one.  _James Buchanan Barnes_  is mentioned numerous and you can’t help but shake your head at his introduction and Darcy’s advice. You take everything in and the afternoon classes pass too quickly to your liking and it’s already the early afternoon when you and a group of six girls are getting ready – the gym is already buzzing with people waiting to enter and place whatever bets that they can. Like watching the gladiators you used to read about, only less dangerous, maybe.

“All right ladies. One rule: We arrive together, we leave together.  **No if, ands, or buts** ,” you explain to the collective sigh of yes ma'am. Your little group meets with some of the trainees before heading inside, though all you’re really doing is watching like a hawk the rest of the dancers. The first two matches aren’t much to talk about and if you were honest nothing caught your attention until familiar name was called up and a familiar face was up on the shabby ring.

“Go get'em James!” one of the girls yells as you move slightly to get a better view. His opponent was about his height but definitely had more muscle mass than him. You move back and forth on the balls of your feet in anxiety for a brief moment as the bell rings. Bobbing and weaving for 15 rounds and most of them have him on the edge, until the last round where a good hit lands the other man on the floor with no chance of getting up again.

Everyone is gathering around him and giving him pats on the back and congratulations on such a good first fight. He grins through a busted lip and some of the girls move to his line of sight with praises and blushing faces. You turn to talk to one of the girls that stayed behind, completely unaware you have caught blue eyes. And he smiles through the pain at the sight of you in that pretty navy skirt and white blouse and that you watched his first fight, that you might be interested in some way in him. And he has to wonder if you’re just too good to be true.

However, after getting clean and dressed, when he tries to find you in the crowd of people praising him – you and your little group are nowhere to be found.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really thought about what I want to do with the series and with some encouragement from @starfisharchives, I decided to keep going with this series at an irregular pace. So if you decide to read this, thank you. This chapter is centered a little around the theater district!

“Ain’t no fling ever hurt nobody.”

Darcy’s words ring in your head for a good while, as you wait for all the girls to get picked up by their boyfriend or someone close to them – it was another one of your rules whenever you took them out. You loved all of them like little sisters, but they could be sneaky and a handful sometimes. They waved as you absentmindedly returned the gesture though there were too many things ringing in your head to really care until the last gal left. Mickey’s car right behind theirs.

“How was the fight?” Mickey grins, as you look at the white interior of the car. The man didn’t have a lot to call his own, but it was something that he was proud of and cherished –just as much as he did Darce– was his car.

“That James Barnes is quite the fella,” you can’t help but say, as he stares at you for a moment. He couldn’t help but laugh a little at the state you were in – it wasn’t often in the years that he had known you that he saw you this way over a guy – it was sweet in a way.

“I am guessing he won,” Mickey adds on as you shake your head, “Well, if you ever need anything.”

He looks at you for split second and winks, causing you to laugh as you understand what he means and you can’t help but be grateful for the types of friends you head. The two of you head into the heart of downtown, as the late night gloom that comes with June sets it.

* * *

James tries his hardest to find and talk you after the match, he had planned to do so immediately afterwards but that didn’t work out so well. It was the same thing the following days afterwards – he couldn’t find you in the dance hall and he couldn’t seem to make it to Clifton’s during your shift time. It was like he was going after a ghost and James was slowly losing his mind. He hadn’t been so hung up on a gal like this since Dot two summers back and at this point he would he happy if you just rejected him – it was better than dancing in limbo.

And the moment, he stopped looking for you for a minute – James Barnes sees you standing there in front of the dance hall with some of the other students, laughing and smiling, as he finds himself staring for a good long while.

“I should be charging you for staring so much,” a voice breaks his daydream, only for him to see you at his side giving him a huge grin with the gals giggling behind him.

“Well, if you didn’t float away so much,” blue eyes turn to meet yours, as he gives you a teasing smile, “I wouldn’t be so caught on by you.”

“Are you calling me sneaky, James Buchanan Barnes?” you huff back, putting your hands on your hips in mock teasing as James flinches at the use of his whole name, something that was only used when his ma was angry, though he had to admit he liked the sound of it coming from you.

“Only if the shoe fits, doll,” he shrugs as you walk to stand in front of him. The girls on the other side long forgotten, as he takes one real good look at your –long dark shirt and a short sleeve blouse– and he knows he’s screwed. He hasn’t seen a gal in all of New York that could beat that smile you were shooting his way, as he moves a little against the wall he is trapped behind – you were doing better in caging him than that boxer from a few nights ago.     

“And why have you been trying to find me anyways?” you quip, not angry but confused and curious over what he wanted with you, “I’m sure you could have any gal you want.”

The sentiment was true, but he didn’t want any other gal that wasn’t the one standing in front of him at this moment – though, he doubted you would believe that.

“Well, I was looking for a tour guide,” he shrugs off your comment with the pretense of nonchalance, but his heart is flying a mile a minute over his next sentence and how you would answer, “A real sweetheart who can show if Los Angeles is just as good as good ol’ New York.”

“You think I got time for that? For you?” you shake your head, as his heart catches in his throat at the sound of your laugh. You secretly thank Darcy for everything she has taught you, though your palms are sweaty and your throat is closing in.

“If ya don’t mind,” he pleas softly to the air shared between the two of you, as you aren’t aware of how close you had gotten until you notice how close his eyes are and that aren’t exactly as blue as you thought they were, as you see a glint of gray –hopeful and patient– swimming in them.

“Well, tell me when and where,” you huff as he nods, “…and I’ll think about it.”

He lets out that huff of air as you move back and turn to the girls that had grown silent, simply watching the two of you interacting. You wave at him before leading them back inside, though they won’t stop giggling and asking questions. Later on, they’ll spread the news to the rest of the classes, as you don’t notice James going back into the gym with the dopiest smile in his face.  

* * *

After getting the following Saturday off, James tells you where he wants to meet – the theater district not to far from your boarding house. His excitement over the whole affair seemed contagious and you had to wonder if there was anything like that back in New York, since you only knew about Broadway and that was mostly live action plays and all that such. You tell Darcy and she screams in excitement, while on the day of she makes you gets up extra early to play dress up with you.

Her best makeup and a pretty satin green dress with matching accessories is what you are dressed in. He’s all yours with this, she giggled out as she pushed you onto 6th St. after you ate breakfast. The walk from where you lived to theater row wasn’t long, surely not as long as James who rode a couple of buses into the city early Saturday to meet you on time. You’re a little nervous, though it doesn’t really set in until you see him standing near the corner underneath the Tower Theater.

He’s standing there, wearing a dark pair of dress pants with suspenders and a long, button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His hair is slicked back in a way you’ve never seen before, as he keeps rubbing the top every once and awhile, as if out of a nervous habit. Your heart skips at the sight, as you wait for a moment before calling out his name.

James turns and sees you waving at him, though he has doesn’t move for a moment and you wonder why, though you don’t worry after he starts moving in your direction. He wants to say so many things, but all he can manage without stuttering is a “good morning” as you return it without a problem. The two of you stand there for a good awhile until James finally gains the ability to talk again.

“So, what theater are we going to?” he can’t help but ask, as you look around for a moment in thought.  

“I always take my siblings to the Rio,” you explain as his eyes lit up at the tiny piece of information, “But, the Roxie shows all the new pictures.”

“How many siblings?” he can’t help but asking questions, as you push him towards the direction of the Roxie.

“It used to be Gladys and the boys after me,” you explain as he nods, “But, she eloped a while back, went to live upstate.”

“I’m sure your ma and pa were fuming,” he exclaims as he rubs the back of his neck, every once and awhile glancing at the theaters that line up the block.

“Ma hasn’t talked to her since,” you explain as he nods, “You got any siblings?”

Blue eyes stare at you for a moment taking in that you hadn’t mentioned your father, but nonetheless answers the question with: “Three younger sisters: Becca, Lizzie, and Millie.”

You smile at the similarities that you seem to share, but before anything else can be asked you are already in front of the Roxie. James glances up to stare at the red Art Deco building with its lights declaring that  _THE YOUNG IN HEART IS PLAYING!_

You can’t help but smile at the mesmerization he seems to have towards everything as he buys the tickets for the next showing, you can’t but get excited at showing him the places you love around your city. He grins and you match it completely.

Oh, but if you only knew back then that this would be the start of how you fell for James Buchanan Barnes – then, maybe you would have stopped yourself from all the heartache you suffered afterwards.  


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh, i am still tinkering with how long this part of the series is going to be. i have two other things connected to this story moving around in my head, even if ever finish this. this chapter sort of centers around pershing square + echo park. and since the last chapter, thanks to @starfisharchives for her support!

_Late July 1938._

Between helping your mom with your kid brothers, dance school, and working there’s hardly really a time that you can go out with James again after the movies a month back. Yes, you see him near the dance hall to talk every once and awhile, go to his fights with the other girls and Mickey sometimes – it all seems lie enough for you. You get to see the blue-eyed boxer when you can and it’s a little relief in your day-to-day hassle, but it was a different story for James.

The more James sees of you, even fleeting smile or a joke, he wishes mores that he could spend more time with you. He’s too far away to really spend the whole day with you on his day off, what with the no-good transportation and all, and you were always running around doing something for someone else. James swore you were the hardest working dame he knew, but he had also seen how your little brothers adored you when they came with you to train, how Maria and Clint pushed you forward and seemed so proud of you. You were something else and James wanted to give you a day off.

Thus, he sets about to work.

* * *

It’s a strange start to your Saturday morning. Clint had today you to take the day off the night before, your brothers were with your grandpa for the day, as your mother worked and you didn’t have any classes since Mrs. Reis’ was taking her short holiday with her own family. You at in your little boarding room in complete silence, unsure of what to do – you had nothing and you were lost, that is until you hear a sudden knocking at your door.

“Come on, get get up!” Darcy’s voice throws you into a tizzy, as you get up and open the door. You look at her in complete and utter confusion, as she seems to be holding a long skirt and blouse.

“Darce, what are you planning?”

“Not me, just help’,” she smiles much softer since she still doesn’t have her hair products or make up for the day.

“Who the hell sent ya?”

“One very dizzy man,” she answers with a grin, as you frown not really believing the words that are coming out of her mouth.

Nevertheless, she keeps moving you about the small room, looking through all your long skirts and blouses until she settles on something for you to wear. Darcy keeps smiling the entire time, like she’s the one in love, as she pushes you on your way a little further ways downtown.

* * *

Blue eyes glanced at the tropical plants that decorated the foundation at the center of the park, for the lack of a better word. Pershing Square from what he understood was one of the mini parks that were centered in this area, but deep down James knew that it didn’t beat the blocks full of flora and people that made their way through Central Park everyday. He was lucky to be there whenever he had the time and a little extra change, whether taking the girls to play or hanging out with Stevie after checking out some art exhibition he wanted to see.

Los Angeles, at least when James had thought about it, had a lot to offer but it wasn’t like New York – a city stuck on an island and connected through several different passageways. There were alot of things that could be called “Los Angeles” and it was annoyance to get to some of the areas from where he was located, even harder from the core of the city, especially if you didn’t have a car.

Los Angeles, for all its glitzy promises and sprawling potential,  could never beat New York and he let that with all the homesickness in the world.

“So you’re the reason Darcy sent me here,” a familiar voice breaks him out of his thoughts, as he looks up and can’t help but smile at the sight of you.

“I’m hoping it wasn’t too much trouble,” he starts off as you smile and shake your head, “I’ve been wanting to see a certain place. Maybe you can show me the way?”

You let out a chuckle at the thought of playing tour guide once more, as he gets up and motions to to pairs of bikes he had gotten for the occasion. You stop laughing and look at him with a panic struck gaze for a second.

Now, it’s James’s turn to laugh, as you try to suddenly get out of this.

However, he knows deep down that there is one good thing that his time in Los Angeles has brought him, though he won’t say anything out-loud for now.  

* * *

Between failing around on the bike and trying to get your bearings, it takes you and James a good hour getting to Echo Park. It wasn’t a place you went to often nowadays, so the sight of the water glimmering thanks to the sun and the old Victorian houses lining up on the opposite caught you breathe for a minute. In your own reverence, you don’t notice James doing the same for just a second, though out of homesickness and something else.

“So if I ‘member correctly,” you start off while hesitantly stopping your bike, “We can eat lunch over there and maybe even go for a boat ride.”

“Yeah, sounds swell,” he states as you gets off your bike and begin to move it towards the small cabin-like being sitting at the edge of the lake with rows of peddle boats along the side.

You were sure that Echo Park wasn’t as huge as whatever James might have been thinking that it was, though it has some nice attractions here and there. You walked along the sidewalk, seeing people enjoy the day in the grass or doing something else in the shade. It was one of the places that you had fond memories of when your father was still alive and he had just a little extra money to spend on the family outing.

“Do you miss?” you can’t help but ask at the sudden thoughts of your family, as blue eyes fully taken in you once more, “Your family? New York?”

James pauses for a moment looking at the lake, thinking but unsure of what he should say.

“My dad used to take us here when he could,” you admit, throwing him a bone as you slowly open up to him just a little, “Got chased by a flock of ducks over there.”

James laughs at the sudden thought of a younger you running around and screaming and as you tell him more about the hair, you mix in some of your own personal history into the mix. You guys have the cheapest things on the menu when James –with blue eyes sparkling underneath the sun– finally states.

“I fell on the ice rink once and Stevie well he…”

You end up laughing the whole way to the row boats as James keeps telling you stories about him and this Steve Rogers. James can’t help but keep watching you open up and share your own family stories with him and if you end up kissing him on the cheek in the middle of the lake – well, that’s just the icing on the cake.

And if that became your fondest memory at Echo Park, well you hope that your family didn’t mind.  


	10. Chapter 10

_ Early August 1938.  _

The headaches start in the beginning of the month and though by now you were used to having them -- your ma said it was passed down from her mother to her then to you, Gladys had been the lucky one-- it still didn’t stop you for letting out a little whimper as you tried to get up that morning. 

You had been scheduled to take the afternoon shift at Clint’s, but you weren’t sure how you were going to feel if you couldn't even get up to do anything at the current moment. At times, this condition even stopped you from dancing or going to school in your younger years, but it had never felt like this before -- like a stab in the back of your neck and needle point behind your eyelids. But, with clumsy feet you managed to get those little pills your mother had given you to solve the issues and collapsed back onto the bed. 

You end up falling asleep for quite some time. 

“Doll!” is something that manages to wake you up in the middle of the afternoon, as you see a familiar blue-eyed rascal come through your window -- something that he had gotten quite good at over recent weeks. 

In the few weeks since you had gone to Echo Park with him, James tried his hardest to spend all his time downtown with you when he could. He spent more times in Clint’s when he could waiting for your shift to end, spent time in those dance halls that Darce was headlining in to dance the night away with you. July ended like that, but as August came in James was aware that his time with you was coming to an end -- he was heading back to New York soon, but he still wanted to see you. 

He was in a titsy over you, but he was counting the days until it was all over, sadly. 

“Doll,” he remarks as he leans to the side of your bed, “What’s a’ matter?”

“Headaches is all,” you murmur softly, as James nods while cupping your cheek and rubbing it softly. He notices that it’s warmer than usual. Growing up with his ma and sisters, especially Rebecca, James knew how irritable gals could be when it came that certain time of the month (at least that what he thought it was), but to see you so incapacitated lurched at his heart.  

“Do ya need anything?” James asks softly as you groan, “Have you eaten anything?” 

You shake your head, as he promises to get you something to eat --from anywhere you want-- all you can do is let out a weak laugh as you state that you want something from the  [ Grand Central Market ](https://www.grandcentralmarket.com/history) .

He can’t help but smile and state that everything was going to be alright before you fell back to sleep once more.

* * *

James ends up taking the  [ #6 Yellow Bus  ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_Railway) from where the boarding house is located to Grand Central Market. In his time with you, James had gotten used to traversing some of the bustling city with the electric carts system that as set-up. It wasn’t like the subways and trains back home, but it did well enough as James headed to the  [ rich part ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunker_Hill,_Los_Angeles) of the city, where old Victorian style houses laid about and while it wasn’t his cup of tea, the marketplace was more open to shop workers and people who lived just below the hill. 

The red building from what James could see was huge with a bright sign welcoming people to the space. It sort of reminded him of those large open markets he sometimes saw back home, but just in a building and way louder.

People cluttered in together as he heard of mix of languages yelling at each other over what food they wanted and how much they were willing to pay. Other places were tucked in restaurants where people were taking a quick break from work or something else. The mix of foods made his stomach growl for a second before he saw the sign to the place you had written on a scrap of paper. Everything was a sensory overload to James in that one moment, a silly grin on his face at the thought that New York had nothing like this.

* * *

It takes James a half and hour to come back with the meal you asked for and flowers he had gotten from a side vendor. He hopes deep down that you are feeling better at least to eat something since it was slowly turning into the late afternoon. However, as he juggled the food and the flowers, plus himself through the window once more -- he wasn’t expecting to see an older woman sitting at your bedside, as you were still asleep, though he could tell that you had moved about and eaten since then. 

You were sleeping soundly as he made it there. Familiar eyes meeting his blue ones and James can immediately tell who this person is -- you look too much like her for him not to know. 

“So, you’re the one that’s been dillydalling with my daughter?” 

James sits on the window frame and gives your mother an awkward smile. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter we are exploring a little of the San Pedro Port, also known as the Port of Los Angeles! Thank you sooo much to @polaroid-idiocity and @ramblerumble for their love and support of this series. Just a few more chapters left! 
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated.

_I hope your mother taught you better than to come up to a young lady’s room without an invitation, much less without her knowing._

Even a week letter, the woman –who he is guessing is your ma– and her words had stung both Bucky’s ego and his pride. He knew that if his mother ever found out, she would drag him and he would never see the light of day again and while he had had his fair share of failed escapades here and there, he had never been caught doing something so simple and been reprimanded in such a way.

_I do not know who you are or what you are doing with my daughter, but whatever it maybe stop this moment. I will not have some nameless vagabond sully her, not when she has so much ahead of her. Do you understand, young man?_

She hadn’t even asked for his name during her little tirade and even though she was was wearing some of the shabbiest clothes she had – there was just something about her that commanded his attention. It wasn’t like when his own ma was mad at him, there was something bitter and dark about how she looked and spoke to Bucky in that moment. Though, deep down, he knew that she was right.

James had no right in getting tangled around you when there was no chance after the summer was over – he would be heading back to New York and working his ass back in the docks while you were teaching rich girls how to dance, at least that was better than his current situation.

Hell, maybe you even caught a rich guy’s attention and they swept off your feet where all the movies stars lived, though he knew that had never been your own plan maybe that’s what your ma hoping was for.

James Barnes had no right being so doll dizzy over you, but at the thought of you with someone else sent a shiver down his spin and punch the wall next to him. But, he had made your ma a promise and he was a man of his word.

So, he stayed back in San Pedro as his time in sunny Los Angeles slowly ran out, as much as it hurt him.

* * *

It takes you a whole week to feel better and it’s only then that you realize that either James never came back or you were passed out when he had come back, only for him to meet up with your mother. Though she never spoke a word of it when you were ill, but you knew her too well. Mother wasn’t the type to point out your own mistakes, she would wait and make your wallow in your own guilty until you confessed – it made the punishment and groveling that much sweeter. It was the same thing she was doing with Gladys – your mother was always willing to play the long term sort of game like she had all the time in world.

But, you were stubborn and it wasn’t until two weeks without a word from James that you finally head back home and catch here cooking in the kitchen. Your younger brothers were playing outside and your grandparents are nowhere to be found for the time being.

“Oh, you made it in time for dinner,” she remarks with a happy tone as she goes back to the tiny stove, while you take a seat near the wall. While, you might have never been her favorite, there were only things you really understood about your mother and how she was moving about showed that she wanted to avoid what you might want to talk about.

“Mama,” you start out and she freezes, “What did you tell him?”

“I have no idea–”

“The boy that came through my window when I was sick,” you start explain as she walks over to you, “You musta ‘ve meet him. He hasn’t come to see me again, what did ya tell ‘im?”

She stands a bit straighter than before and clenches her hands her hands once then twice. The light of the widow shines a bit brighter and for once more your mother seems so much older than she is meant to look. There is a calmness and annoyance that goes through her face that you had never seen before. She lets out a deep breath before speaking.

“ **You are meant for so much more,”**  she starts off before you cut in and tell her that isn’t the answer you are looking for. Her breathe stalls for a second as she closer to you and grips your shoulders  _“It might take some time, but you just wait and see.”_

“Momma,” you whisper out, unsure of what is going on anymore, “Please stop.”

“Do you love him?”

“What…I–”

 _“Do you love him?_ ” she screeches and digs her nails deeper into your blouse and into your skin, as you look her with widening eyes. Your mother, even with everything she had gone through and lost, had never looked this distressed before and the look of utter desperation on her face drove your answer.

“No,” you sob out as she loosens her grip, “He’ll be gone by the summer.  _Just a fling, nothing else.”_

“Good,” she states with a sweeter smile as she lets go completely.

You stare at her for a good moment. She resettles her skirt once more before going back to watching over what she was doing, but before she can ask if you are going to stay and eat – you’re already out the door.

“One day, she’ll understand,” she murmurs to herself before going back to her daily routine like if nothing had changed. She was used to waiting by now anyways.

* * *

_“Mickey, I need a ride!”_

_“Where to, sweetheart?”_

_“San Pedro!”_

* * *

It takes the two of you half an hour to get to the port from the heart of downtown and thought Mickey didn’t want to leave you on your own, he had to head back though you had promised you would head back on the trolley as soon as you found James. The problem was that you didn’t know where to being to look for the man – you knew James worked at one of the docks but you didn’t know what exact company it was that he worked for either.

After awhile, you got tired and annoyed of asking about and simply ended up at the beach for a good while, staring at the waves and eating a light dessert you had bought. You tried your hardest not to think of what your mother had said and her reasoning – it was just to scary at the moment.

It soon hit a quarter past three and you were ready to head back to your little bordering room. You were walking between the tracks and the sand, just a couple of steps away from the station when you hear it – your name being called by a familiar voice.

And while you try to ignore your own heart stopping at the moment.

“Darlin’” you pause at the new nickname, which allows James to catch up and grasp your hand, “Where ya lookin’ for me?”

You don’t say anything as you turn to look at him – bright blue eyes, excited smile and dirty as hell in his white shirt and suspenders. You aren’t quite so sure how he found you or what he had been doing in your time apart, but at the sight of him standing in front you a bright and warm feeling filled your very core. His smile flatters just a little at your silence, as he rubs your knuckles lightly.

“I–” he waits as you try to find the words, but you can’t. So you decide to show him instead, as you grab his dirty cheek and bring him in.

He grabs your waist and pulls you in closer. You let out a happy sigh as he deepens the kiss and as you end up spending the rest of the night dancing at the longshoremen’s bar – you both deny the fact that you might be in love.


	12. the end of all things.

After that confession, time and the concept seems like a blur to you and not in the best way -- anything that really make any sense at all is being with James. Maybe you are in love or maybe you are scared of what will happen when this dream is over and you have to face the music. 

However, you don’t think about that for now, deciding to spend your days that aren’t connected to dance classes or working at Clint’s to spend them with James in whatever way you can -- from spending evenings at Darcy’s current gig, driving around the city with Mickey, or simply taking in one of his boxing matches when you have the time. It’s all about James for now and counting down the days that you have with him -- how crazy was that from a few months ago, but it was like Darce has told you a few nights back.

> _ “This is the happiest I’ve seen the whole time I’ve known ya”, she said with a smile and small jab of your ribs as the two of you watched James laughing with some of the guys from Logan’s Gym. There was a scar underneath his eye and his lip was a little bruised, but he still had that boyish win and sparkling blues eyes as he laughed the night away.  _
> 
> _ “I don’t know what ya mean.” you let out with an airy chuckle, but Darcy could always see things you couldn’t --- the bright smile, the star-struck eyes and occasional hickeys you tried to hide with high collars and scarves.  _
> 
> _ Darcy doesn’t say another word, but she knows you’re high on love (just like she had been once, a very long time ago) and as much as she loved you as a friend -- she could only watch you soar higher and could only promise to help you once the fall was done with. _

* * *

Bucky isn’t sure what to feel how to feel between feeling ready to get back to New York, but also wanting to stay a little while longer. He wants to keep dancing and watching Darcy sing the night away, but his sisters, his ma, and Stevie were waiting for him -- there were still that only he could do for all of them. He had loved his time him and if he was a little honest--

No, he wouldn’t say that for now, instead he decides to walk over to you sitting and getting all dolled up for another night with Darce and Mickey -- it was how most of his night during this last week were being spent. You’re murmuring something from a few nights back, which riled something in him to tease you.

“Ya awful, darlin’.” he laughs as you pout from your seat in the vanity. 

 It’s way past curfew, but that didn’t stop him from slinking in when you were getting ready for bed. He was surely going to get in trouble…again. It didn’t help that he came in laughing at your singing voice, though he did try to appease you with a cheeky grin and a kiss to your temple. 

“Why don’t you go to Darce’s room instead? Go listen to her instead,” you mumble as he keeps laughing, his arms wrapping around your waist with his head on top of yours. Blue eyes alight with mischief. 

“I like the noises you make better though,” he murmurs as you can feel the heat rushing to your face. He leans in closer and kisses the side of your mouth as you turn to look at him with a pout, “If you know what I mean.” 

“You’re the worst, James Buchanan Barnes,” you whisper out harshly and push him away. All he does is keep laughing as he grabs you to spin you around the room. 

You’re both barely held together, both in clothing and in silly laughter, when Darcy comes to pick you up.

* * *

It’s somewhere between the last dance and the first light of the dawn that the four of you end up near Griffith Park. James had something about loving to see the stars one last time from how he had seen him near San Pedro -- the park was really the only place to go, Mickey had suggested. And as you sat in the back of the car, your head leaning on his shoulder as the Darcy kept humming a new song you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, like this wasn’t going to happen ever again.  

Maybe, it’s the feeling that makes you grab his chin and state softly: 

  _“Promise you’ll write.”_

 He doesn’t say anything and you don’t expect him to before leaning it. It’s the sort of thing that you --for everything you have gone through-- will remember...the silver of the moonlight, the blue in his eyes, and promise on his lips. 

 And for you, the years to come are a handful and cumbersome. 

__


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s funny that I just toured Union Station but I can’t use it in this chapter because it wasn’t opened in 1939. Thank you for taking the time to read it and enjoying the ride. I still have more for these two, but we’ll see how it pans out.

You don’t welcome Saturday morning on a breezy August with the same enthusiasm that you had welcomed Friday morning. Maybe because you were saying goodbye to something that brought you laughter and love instead of the dread that came with thinking of your mother and the reality of the situation at hand. 

James was leaving, going back to New York and his sisters, his ma, and Stevie. You knew it was bound to happen, early on you --when you couldn’t stand him-- you had been praying and hoping for the summer to go faster so you wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Now, you look at you -- love struck and hopeless over what would happen next. 

Starting at yourself in the mirror with those bright red eyes, you couldn’t help but think that you were everything that Darcy had warned you against. 

* * *

 

Somehow you get Mickey to give him one last ride to Central Station from where he had been staying in San Pedro, and while his car had usually been filled with laughter and drunk giggles after a night at wherever Darce had been singing -- now, it was a silent as death as you sat in front for one instead. James was in the back with his small carpet bag and train ticket in hand.

Blue eyes were caught between looking at the passing scenery and you sitting still, as Mickey kept his eyes on the road. The life of the party still asleep when the three of you had decided to leave the boarding house, but knowing what she did -- she was fine with not ever seeing James Buchanan Barnes again after he broke your heart. Not that he would ever know though.

The ride to Central Station end as quickly as it began as Mickey stalls the car and help James get his bag from the back as James gets out. You hadn’t spoken since this morning, afraid and dreading all of this coming to end or even worse that you would end up crying in front of him. So you stay silent and still, your heart beating in your ears, as James comes to lean on the car door with a small, hapless smile as he touches your cheek. 

“Thank ya,” he states softly as Mickey turns to look away, “For everything you’ve done for me these past coupla of months. I had a swell time with all of ya.” 

_ He had a swell time,  _ you can’t help but think a bit bitterly because that’s all it really boiled down to in the end. Los Angeles was meant to be nothing but play time and earn some money to send back home, it wasn’t the end all be all -- why would he stay here when there were so many reasons to go back home? 

Though you could count just as many reasons as to why he should stay, but they all stayed lumped together in your throat as you have him a nod and a smile. 

“I hope you can tell ‘em that Los Angeles is just as good as New York,” you pause as he lets out a laugh, “Better even!” 

“I’ll be sure not to stop talkin’ about it for days,” James lets out with the brightest smile he can muster, as he leans a little bit closer until you turn around and your noses are touching. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, not carrying who is looking, as lean in. 

This kiss is softer but firmer than all the kisses than you had had thus far, as if he was trying to burn it into his memory as he grasped your cheek until you both needed air again. 

“I miss you, Ja--” 

_ “Bucky,” _ he breathes out in a tizzy as you finally let him breathe, “That’s what I get called back at home.” 

You don’t think about the implications, because it’s too late for them now, as you laugh instead: “That sounds silly, but it suits you.” 

Another silent moment passes between the two of you before you hear the train whistling across the street, as if signaling that he has to go. You don’t say anything else as he moves away and grabs his bag. 

You sit there at a complete loss as he waves one last time (yelling out  _ take care of yourself)  _ before crossing the street. You watch him disappear just as quick as he came into your life -- he had taken a little piece of you with him and all you could do was just go on living like that. 

* * *

 

It takes James a little over a week to get back home. The closeness and ever growing buildings make him quickly forget of sprawled out Los Angeles, as he wonders how much he missed. His sisters and his ma are waiting for him outside of Grand Central Station, as they welcome him with hugs and kisses why asking what he had brought him. 

“Did you enjoy your time there?” Winnie Barnes can’t help but ask as they walk down a few blocks to find something to eat, as she watches her oldest child’s eyes soft with a shy smile on his face. 

“Yeah, I did,” he remarks, “And I’ll miss it.”

It’s all he gets in before his sisters asks if he says any movie stars during his time there, as Bucky starts going off about how he went around town. Winnie, between her four children talking and moving about, doesn’t find the time ask anymore than that, as the rest becomes a fading memory.

There's hundreds of other gals he can have in New York City after all. 

* * *

 

You end up taking more day shifts at Clint’s and just as quickly you are pushed into mid-September with your younger brothers going back to school and the ballet school being mostly empty due to so many of the girls going back to their respective boarding schools. Even Darce and Mickey had left the city for the time being, as Darcy had decided to take her act on the road again. There wasn't much to do nowadays, but you find anything to take your mind off of the summer and mostly from your mother. 

“I think there is something we need to discuss,” is the first thing she tells you when you find her standing in front of your own boarding home. However, you can’t help but notice that there is something different in the way she is speaking and holding yourself -- she looks like your mother, but she looks so much older as well. 

“Do you wanna grab something to eat?” you ask a bit more subdued than before as she nods and you end up walking a few blocks to a secluded deli shop. 

You both take your order and wait in silence for them to be called out, as your mother gives you a tight smile before speaking. 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted the last time we spoke,” she starts off as she rubs her hands together, “I was just afraid you were going to end up like Gladys, falling in love and leaving.” 

 “You know I’m not like that,” you bite back as she nods in response, “I wouldn’t leave you and the boys behind like that.” 

It was true, even when you had said goodbye to Bucky that had never crossed your mind. 

“I know,” as she adds, “You’re too much like me to be doing that.” 

Her smile grows a bit more than before as you feel a shiver down your spine as your food gets called out, but instead of getting it -- you sit there a little while longer and stare her straight in her bright eyes. 

“I feel like…” you starts off as she stares right back at you, “Like there’s something we gotta talk about, huh? Something that you might have been from all of us.” 

“Like I said,” she remarks, “You are your mother’s daughter.”

You bite your cheek and decide not to say anything, wait until she has said her dues and figure out how to move forward with it all. And while in a few decades, you might remember this conversation, how your mother even looked like at this moment -- there was always going to be lingering sense of dread and lonesomeness when you thought about Los Angeles.  


End file.
